Why don't you put on some Birkenstocks and protest something, ya dirty hippie?

Earlier today, my mom sent me an email that was neither inspirational, nor forwarded 400 billion times (see right).

Surely she doesn't mean to insinuate that I am a lush! She must be alluding to the muffin top that spills ever-so-slightly over the waistband of my tight, tapered jeans! Do I need to lose weight? According to my mom, yes, yes I do!

Jest aside, the article got me thinking: if I'd gone to a junior college, would I only be susceptible to junior heart disease? What would happen if I'd not pursued higher education at all, but rather, taken up alcoholism in and of itself? What then?

But seriously, though, my Wiimote is still Wiimissing. If the status of my Wiimote were to be represented as a Homeland Security Threat Level diagram, it would look something like the image at left. Yes, I spend way too much time in Photoshop. No, I don't have friends.