Seen during 6 hour layover in the D.C. airport:

I wish I had the balls to take pictures, but I didn't.

1. My high school's quarterback whose name I couldn't remember for the life of me. This is the same guy who proudly told me at a party senior year that he "got the section's [football] trophy, and was now going to get some pussy." In the airport we shared a double-take, a confused stare, and an awkward moment.
2. Intense-looking soldier in complete desert camouflage drab and heavy-duty hiking backpack, slurping on a bright pink smoothie while leafing through a women's magazine at the magazine stand.
3. Man who seems to have consumed fatal amounts of carotene in a short span of time; his face has a bright orange hue, and he has neon yellow hair and beard.
4. The most adorable family in the history of life: everyone has their nose in a book, and mother and son hold hands on occasion while the older sister smiles at what she's reading.
5. Frizzy-haired woman clothed head to foot in cheetah-print spandex, sitting next to me and looking eagerly over my shoulder at every word I type.
6. The Crocodile Hunter, in the flesh, sprinting to catch his flight.
7. Middle-aged man with a ridiculously thick head of salt-and-pepper grey hair. We can only speculate as to how natural such a lush mane can be for a man that age.
8. Blinged-out guy who looks like he just walked off the set of a hyphy rap video shoot, eating French fries and reading "Eragon."
9. Morbidly obese woman eating a sub sandwich. She squeezes one end too hard, and mayonnaise oozes out of the middle, spilling over the rest of the sandwich. With the amount slathered on, there is no conceivable way she can taste anything but mayo. I bet myself that she's going to wipe off the excess sauce, but I'm wrong: she takes a huge, voracious bite, and it makes the slightest squishing sound. I feel like puking.
10. Fat stack of the new Harry Potter book at the mini-Border's. The manager of the store, a small, energetic Asian lady, kept trying to convince me to get a copy (40% off! Good deal! Only $22!), because almost no one had bought any yet. Suck on that, Rowling.